


The Utter Destruction of One Evan Buckley

by Gabitha_1131



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:34:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25101727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabitha_1131/pseuds/Gabitha_1131
Summary: Buck is on the outs with the team after the lawsuit but they don't know the truth. When he attempts to tell Bobby he is shut down. When the abuse begins, he keeps quiet. Eventually everything comes to light and the group tries to beg for forgiveness but it may be to late.
Relationships: Chim and Buck, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), all the usual pairings, maddia dn Buck
Comments: 26
Kudos: 158





	1. Keep Quiet and Stay Out of Sight

The chief offered Buck a promotion to the rank of lieutenant and a position at another house. The chief asked Buck if he wanted him to tell Bobby and the team about what he did. Buck only went through with the lawsuit because the Chief had asked him too. Buck was suspicious of his lawyer from the start. He knew things that he shouldn’t have; things that Buck never told him. When Buck realized that something was wrong, he went to the Chief and they came up with a plan. In order for that plan to come together, the members of the 118, his family, couldn’t know anything. Buck knew the risks and was scared but was more than willing to anything and everything in his power to protect them. 

Buck had gotten permission from the Chief to tell people. He wanted to tell everyone, especially Eddie, he loved him and never meant to hurt him. He would have never used Shannon’s death against him. But the person that he really wanted to actually needed to tell was Bobby. He “sued” Bobby after all. He walked up the stairs and into his office. Bobby had an open door policy.

“Hey Bobby” Buck said tentatively. Bobby flinched at his voice. He cleared his throat. Before Buck could speak again; “What do you want, Firefighter Buckley? I guess going after the department wasn’t enough, now you are here to tell me that you are coming after me personally.” Buck stared at him in disbelief. Bobby continued, “You are only here in this house because the Chief did not give me the option to transfer you to another house. If it had been up to me, your transfer papers would have been signed already. So here is how this going to go, you are going to keep your head down and your mouth shut. You will not address me so informally, to you, I am Captain Nash. You will not be allowed on calls until I determine that you are fit. Don’t think that you are welcome at the table. None of the firefighters want to eat if you are going to be there. You are not part of this team.” Bobby finished his speech and Buck just stared at him. “Leave NOW, Firefighter Buckley.”


	2. The Abuse Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck keeps his head down and tries to stay out of the way. He cant avoid two firefighters in particular no matter how hard he tries.
> 
> I added in two firefighters. I don't where I got the names from.

Buck was sitting on the bench in the locker room and didn’t hear Bricker and Simmons come in. Bricker grabbed him by the back of his hair and yanked him off the bench. Simmons punched him in the gut. Buck’s eyes started to water. “Go ahead, you little snitch bitch, scream. I’m sure the team will come to your rescue.” They both laughed evilly as they continued their assault on him making sure to not leave any visible marks. When they were done, Buck was a broken heap on the floor. They just laughed. When Buck was finally able to get up off the floor, he quietly grabbed his things and slowly and carefully walked himself out to his jeep and climbed in. 

The next morning, Buck felt the pain in his ribs and in three fingers on his left hand. Bricker stomped on his hand until he heard the crack. He got up and went through his morning routine. He did his PT exercises and took his shower. He ate two or three bites of his breakfast and wrapped the rest for tomorrow. He walked down to his jeep and climbed in and drove to the firehouse. He heard Hen and Chim arguing over who actually won the video game, Eddie was in the gym punching the bag, most likely imagining that it was Buck’s face. He could smell the bacon and eggs coming from the kitchen. He walked into the locker room and started to change slowly. Partly because of the pain whenever he moved and partly because he didn’t want to have to go up to the kitchen and watch from a distance as the team had their family meal.

When he couldn’t delay it anymore, he quietly climbed up the stairs to the loft. He saw that there was nothing left for him to eat. No one had realized that Buck wasn’t at the table for the meal. He immediately averted his eyes when everyone started to look at him. They all looked at their plates to see if there was anything that they could scrape together for him. Buck immediately walked to the kitchen and started to do the dishes. When Hen got closer he shoved his left hand into the soapy water. “Sorry Buck, we were hungry this morning.” Hen said to him when she put her plate in the sink. Buck winced slightly, “it’s okay, really. I ate at home this morning.” He smiled at her. She patted his shoulder and he tried not to cry out. 

When he had finished the dishes in the kitchen, he started in on his list of chores. He was thankful for the chores on his list. They kept him so busy that he didn’t notice the pain in his ribs and the dirt on his hands covered the bruising on his hand. He was on his hands and knees, scrubbing the floor when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. Chim was handing him a water bottle and a sandwich. “Here Buck, you haven’t stopped once. Eat something.” Buck was about to thank him as the alarms went off. Buck didn’t even attempt to go to the truck.

Bricker and Simmons were not needed for the call, it was a minor call. Buck walked up to the kitchen to wrap the sandwich that Chim had made for him when Bricker came up behind him. Bricker smashed the plate on the floor. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, Buckley, you are such a klutz. Look at what you did. You broke one of the plates.” He punched Buck in the ribs. “CLEAN UP YOUR MESS, Buckley. Be a good boy.” Buck knelt down and started to clean the glass. As he went for the last piece, Simmons stepped on his hand and ground his hand into the floor. “Tell me Buckley, why do you think that we are doing this?” Buck tried to look up at him but Bricker smacked him. “WE are doing this because you DESERVE it. You are a traitor. No one and I mean NO ONE wants you here.” Buck tried to get up. Simmons slammed Buck’s head into the wall twice. After the second blow, Buck passed out. He was coming too as the truck was backing into the station.


	3. The Abuse Continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bricker and Simmons continue their assault of Buck, each time the abuse is worse. Buck is finally allowed on a call and it goes horribly.

Buck was disoriented but was able to make it to the bathroom where he promptly threw up. He started to quickly wrap his hand when Eddie came in. He saw Buck struggling. “I’d offer to help, but your lawyer might use it for the next lawsuit.” Buck quickly finished wrapping his hand and immediately left the bathroom to clean the truck. He kept his head down and cleaned the truck Simmons’ words rattling around his head. He deserved it. He deserved everything that was happening to him. HE DESERVED IT. 

The next few weeks pass by pretty much the same. Buck is held back from going on calls unless absolutely necessary. Bricker and Simmons kept up their abuse. The last couple of times Buck had to go to an urgent care because the pain was so bad. This time was the worst. They had dislocated his arm at the shoulder and the elbow. He had to reassure them that he was fine and that he would wear the sling at all times, and that he did not need any assistance getting home. Buck had removed Bobby as his emergency contact; he didn’t want Bobby to be burdened by him anymore. He was exhausting. No one noticed that Buck was about 50 pounds lighter than he used to be. 

The alarm sounded as Buck went about his chores. “Firefighter Buckley, you are going to suit up for this call. It’s all hands on deck.” Buck nodded his head and ran to the truck. He breathed through the pain and got into his turnout gear and climbed the truck. He made sure to sit as far away from Eddie as possible. Eddie didn’t look at him. They all got out to the truck and waited for Bobby to assign them tasks. Hen and Chim were to run triage and assist search and rescue. Bricker and Simmons were to go help vent the roof. He was trying to talk over the roar of thunderstorm assigning tasks to everyone. He didn’t hear the car barreling down at him, the driver intent on killing a first responder. 

It all happened so fast. One moment Bobby and Buck are standing upright and the next moment Buck hits Bobby like a linebacker and they fall to the ground. Everyone turns at the sound of the car crashing into a police cruiser. They see their Captain and Buck on the ground. Eddie, Hen and Chim immediately run over to check on them. Eddie and Chim make it to Bobby and half a second later Hen makes it Buck. She sees him staring wide-eyed at Bobby. She tries to look him over. He waves her off insisting that he is fine. “Buck, please, let me check you over.” He shakes his head no. “Captain Nash is the one that we need to worry about. I hit him really hard. I am pretty sure that I broke a rib or two on him.” Hen tried to get Buck to let her look him over but he refused. He immediately got up and went to Bobby. “Captain Nash, I am so sorry that I hit you that hard. I didn’t know if you heard the car coming.” Eddie spoke up, “He is fine. He has a sprained wrist from the fall but that’s it.” Buck just nodded. “Buckley, I’m fine. Go help Simmons and Bricker vent the roof.” Buck looked down at his feet. “Yes sir, Captain Nash.”


	4. The Team Discovers the Abuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie overhears a conversation between Bricker and Simmons. As he confronts Simmons, Bricker confronts Buck. 
> 
> *********WARNING: THIS CHAPTER INVOLVES RAPE. IF THIS IS A TRIGGER, PLEASE DO NOT READ IT.********

Buck joined Simmons and Bricker on the roof. He immediately started venting the roof in the opposite direction of them. They slowly made their way over to him and surrounded him on either side. Simmons punched Buck in the side. When he keeled over Bricker grabbed his arm and held it to the flame. They laughed as Buck screamed. They laughed as his skin blistered and started to burn. They let go of him when other firefighters got closer. Buck covered up his arm and went back to work. It took them almost four hours but they vented the roof. 

Hen tried to look Buck over once they were done. He refused. She grabbed the burned area of his arm, and as much as he wanted to scream he didn’t. “Buck, I don’t know what’s going on with you. And don’t try to say that there is nothing going on. I don’t know what’s going on but I am here if you want to talk. I hope that you know that.” Hen let go of his arm. Buck stopped screaming internally. “Thank you Hen, for being a good friend. You have always been a good friend to me. I don’t deserve you as a friend.”

“Bricker, I’m done. We can’t keep torturing him. It’s not fun anymore. They really and truly don’t care about him. Look at everything that we have done to him. He is broken.” Bricker slammed his locker door closed. “No, Simmons, he isn’t broken yet. But he will be when I am done with him.” Bricker walked off laughing. 

“Buckley, oh Buckley, come out wherever you are.” Bricker cornered him in the showers. Buck didn't hear Bricker come in he was trying to dress his arm. Bricker punched Buck in the face and he fell backward hitting his head against the bathroom stall. It disoriented him and made him nauseous. He tried to fight Bricker off but he was disoriented. Bricker punched him again. “You are about to get what you deserve, you little BITCH! You’re going to become a man today.” Bricker locked the door to the bathroom and undid the belt of his jeans. Buck tried to crawl away from Bricker. Bricker kicked him in the ribs and pulled him back. “Remember Buckley, YOU DESERVE THIS.” Bricker pulled his knife out and cut off Buck's pants. "Please don't do this. I am sorry for whatever you think I did. Please don't do this." Bricker just laughed. "Evan, Evan, Evan this is going to happen. You know why this is happening." Buck did know why it was happening and that is the mantra that Buck repeated as Bricker assaulted him. Bricker repeated over and over, "you deserve this, you deserve this. This is all your fault." When he was done, Bricker stood up and redid his belt, unlocked the door and simply strolled out of the bathroom. He started to walk up to the loft as Buck lay broken on the bathroom floor.


	5. The Team Finds Buck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie confronts Simmons and they get into a physical altercation. The team find Buck and discover the truth about the abuse.

Buck was still on the floor in a half-naked unconscious broken heap when Bricker walked away. Eddie had overheard the conversation between Bricker and Simmons and went looking for Simmons. Eddie found Simmons first and confronted him. He grabbed Simmons by the shirt. "What the hell have you and your buddy been doing to Buck?" Simmons just laughed. "Diaz, what the hell. Why the hell do you even care. He is a nothing, a nobody. A little snitch bitch that has been getting what he deserves. But then again if you or Cap or anyone actually gave a damn about him you would have caught it earlier." Simmons chuckled again. Eddie punched him square in the face and broke his nose. Simmons cursed at him and went to tell Bobby. Eddie went to find Buck and Bricker. The last time that Eddie saw Bricker he was heading to the locker room. When Eddie saw Buck on the floor, the bile rose from his stomach as he leaned over Buck and yelled for everyone.

Bobby, Hen and Chim heard Eddie scream and came running at the same time that Buck started to come around. As they entered the locker room, Buck saw all of them staring at him. He tried to crawl along the floor and push himself up. He managed to get to his feet and started to do up his pants. Eddie stepped toward his best friend, the man that he has ignored and blown off for weeks, the man that he loves. Buck stepped away from him. Chim, Hen and Bobby try to talk to him. Chim starts to look him over and Hen comes back with the first aid kit. She attempts to bandage the gash on the back of Buck's head. "Buckaroo, you are hurt. Please let us treat you." Eddie tries again to approach him. Buck backs away from all of them. "Captain Nash will be mad if I don't get my chores done." Bobby texts Athena to meet them at the hospital.

Buck started to walk away. “I have chores to finish. Captain Nash gave me a list of chores to finish before my shift ended today. The Chief is coming tomorrow. This place needs to be spotless. The truck is filthy. That call was a long one.” Hen was the one to break the silence first. “Buck, you are hurt. You need to be looked at. Bricker, he ab-abused you.” Buck looked at her. “Bricker didn’t do anything wrong. I got what I deserved. I was disloyal to Captain Nash and the 118. I deserve whatever happens to me. I deserve it. I am a bad person.” Buck tried to walk out of the bathroom. Chim puts his hand on Bucks shoulder. Buck broke down, screaming. “I DESERVE IT! I DESERVE IT! I DESERVE IT!” over and over again. Buck collapsed and started seizing. Bobby came back in the room as Buck started thrashing. The seizure ended as quickly as it started. When Buck came too he was agitated because he couldn’t move. Eddie spoke up, “Buck take it easy. You had a seizure. Just breathe.” Buck tried to fight them off, “Leave me alone. I have work to do. Captain Nash gave me a list of things to finish before my shift ends.” Bobby spoke up. “Buck, it’s okay. Just relax. Don’t worry about the list. We need to get you to the hospital.” Buck pulled away from them. “Captain Nash will be mad if he sees me sitting here doing nothing while everyone else is working.” Buck stands up and immediately collapses with another seizure. They barely catch him before he hits his head. They get him loaded up into the ambulance as the seizure ends. Buck remains unconscious. In this moment they all realize how thin he is.


	6. Hen Finds Out What Buck Did For Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hen is allowed to see Buck and he tells her everything that he did for her and the team. I am also bringing in Dr. Marcel and Nurse Doris (from Chicago Med). This is will not be a crossover and I do not have any plans to include any one else from the Chicago series.

Eddie and Hen hop into the back of the ambulance while Chim drives. Hen cuts off Buck’s shirt and freezes when she sees bruising. The distinct boot prints across his chest, the bruising around the ribs. Hen started to cry when she realized just how much they didn't know. She continued to cut the shirt off and saw the fresh burn on Buck's arm and the lack of muscle tone. Eddie just stares at the man that he loves and tries to not to cry. It wasn't the time for that. He needs to be strong to help Buck. He very carefully starts an IV in Bucks good hand. As he squeezes the bag to get the fluid going he sees the scar on the inside of Bucks hand. The one that Buck tried to wrap himself. Buck starts to come around and is agitated and disoriented and nauseated. Buck tries to turn himself over but he is too weak. Hen and Eddie assist him. Eddie holds the bag and rubs his back and starts to whisper the same things to Buck that he says to Chris when his sick. When Buck realizes that Eddie is touching him he makes himself as small as possible. Hen speaks gently scratching Buck's scalp to calm him, "hey there Buckaroo, its me. I know that you are scared but we are almost to the hospital to finally get you looked at." Buck yawned at her. "Buck, you need to keep those eyes open. Keep flashing those pretty blue eyes." Buck relaxed a little and laid back down. He focused only on Hen. Buck tries to pull his arm away and Eddie carefully tightens his grip. Eddie spoke to him, "Buck, is it okay if bandage the burn on your arm, it needs to be protected. I will be as gentle as possible. I promise." All Buck would say is, "I deserve it."

The ambulance gets to the hospital at the same time as Athena and Detective Marks.They get to the hospital and are met by the doctor running the ED. Buck’s chest is uncovered for everyone to see. Bobby and Chim see the bruises. Athena looses her breath for a moment. They look down as Hen tells the doctor what they had. They left him in the hands of the nurses and doctors. They go into the waiting room. “What the hell happened to him?” Chim asked. “I overheard Bricker and Simmons talking. Simmons said ‘torturing Buck isn’t fun anymore’. How long has this been going on” Eddie exclaimed. “The burn on his arm is fresh. That had to have happened today. Maybe his arm hit the tailpipe of the car when he pushed Cap out of the way. That’s probably why he wouldn’t let me look at his arm.” Bobby was about to speak when the doctor came out. “I’m looking for the family of Evan Buckley”. Hen, Chim, Eddie and Bobby stood up. “We are his 118 family, the paramedics and firefighters that he works with. I’m Captain Nash, his emergency contact. His sister is on the way” Bobby said trying not to choke on the bile rising in his throat. The doctor referenced the tablet, “I’m sorry Captain Nash, but I don’t see you listed as his emergency contact.”


	7. Hen Learns the Truth Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know that the last chapter was suppose to be Hen finding out but I was tired when I posted and forgot to add that. So here is Hen finding out.

“Do you know if he has any biological family near? He has no emergency contact listed.” The members of the 118 stared at the doctor stunned. “His sister, Maddie is on her way to the hospital now.” Chim said. “She will be here in five minutes. Please is there anything that you can tell us.” The doctor shook his head. “I am sorry, I really am, but I cannot break the law and share a patient’s information with someone that is not listed.” They all nodded in understanding. The doctor walked off promising to come back when Maddie arrived. “Bobby, did you know that he removed you as his emergency contact?” Bobby shook his head. “No, I didn’t know. But it makes since that he would list his sister. But he doesn’t even have her listed.” Bobby wiped away a tear. When Maddie arrived a few minutes later, she gave her permission for everyone to hear and the doctor told them what he knew now. “I’m afraid that I don’t have much to offer you Mr. Buckley is refusing medical care. He will not allow anyone to treat the burn on his arm. The only thing that he will say is that he deserves everything that he got. The on-call psychiatrist is talking to him now. Hopefully, he will be able to get through to Mr. Buckley enough to allow us to perform a rape exam.” Maddie cried out. She did not know that last fact about Buck.

A few hours later, the ED doctor, Dr. Marcel, came out with an update. “I know that you have been waiting for an update and we finally have one to give. The psychiatrist has been able to get through to Mr. Buckley. Even though he still feels as though he deserves it, he has agreed to allow us to treat his injuries. He will not however, allow us to perform a rape kit.” They all sighed a bit. “Mr. Buckley will have to stay for a few days at least. He has multiple injuries. We were finally able to get his medical records from the urgent cares that he visited. He has a grade 3 concussion. He has two skull fractures. His left hand is broken as well as four fingers. His left arm has been dislocated at the shoulder and the elbow.” When Dr. Marcel finished listing his injuries, he had tears in his eyes. As did the rest of the team. The doctor goes on to tell them that he is asking for Hen.

Hen agrees to see Buck. She is ready for him to yell hate at her. She would deserve it after everything that Buck went through. She knocked on the door and waited for him to answer. “Come in.” Buck said. She opened the door and stepped inside. “Buck, I am so sorry. Please talk to me. Tell me you hate me, tell me anything.” Hen begged and pleaded with him. “The lawsuit wasn’t my idea. I never told Chase anything about any of you. Yes, I went to him because I wanted to discuss my options. He was the one that went full speed. I found out that he had all that information and that he was going to use it against all of you. He was going to use it to take your jobs and disband the 118. I went to the Chief and told him everything and that I was dropping the lawsuit. He made some calls and the ADA asked me to assist in an investigation into Mackey and his law firm. I never told him anything. I could never do that to Eddie or to Captain Nash or to you. I went through with the lawsuit to protect all of you. Your files are sealed. They can never use anything from your past against you. They can never use Evelyn against you.” 

When Buck looks up, Hen is sobbing. She kissed his forehead. “Buck, you were protecting us. Why didn’t you say anything to us? You have allowed us to hate you and be mad at you all this time.” Hen stared at him. Buck looked down and made himself as small as possible. “I tried to tell Captain Nash, but he didn’t want to hear it and rightfully so. I sued him. I brought all of this upon myself. I deserve everything that they did to me. What was I thinking, going after the Captain?” “Buck, YOU DO NOT deserve any of this. Please Buck, let them help you. Let them treat all your injuries. Bricker sexually assaulted you. Buck, please make him pay for that.” Buck grabbed for Hen and started sobbing. “He broke me, Hen. He broke me. He r- he ra-, I am so weak that I can’t even say what he did to me. How pathetic am I?” She grabbed his face and wiped away his tears. “The only way for him to win is for you to say nothing. Please Buck, don’t let him win.” Buck nodded and the crying lessened. “Will you please stay with me while they do the test?” Hen nodded and went to get the doctor. 

“Mr. Buckley, I’m Dr. Marcel. This is Nurse Doris. She will be assisting me today if that’s okay with you?” Buck nodded his consent. “I understand that you would like for Hen to stay with you. It is okay for her to stay for as long as you need her to. She has informed us that you like to be called Buck. Is it alright with you that I call you that?” Buck again nodded his consent. “Either Nurse Doris or I will explain everything that we do before we do it. I promise that we will be as gentle as possible. Please do not hesitate to speak up if you need a break or you want to stop.” Dr. Marcel and Nurse Doris explained each step of the exam and asked for permission before they did each step. Nurse Doris rubbed his arm and gave him a smile. Dr. Marcel looked him in the eyes.

“Buck, here is my card. My cell number is on the back. Please call me if you need anything. And I mean anything. I know what you are going through. It happened to me as well when I was in college. I promise you that I will not judge you. You have a great friend here. Please rely on her or on me. Please.” Buck took the card and remained silent for a moment. He cleared his throst. “Dr. Marcel,” Buck begins as the doctor turns to look at him, “I did NOT deserve this, right?” Dr. Marcel looked at him. “No, you did not deserve this.” Hen was still holding Buck’s hand. His good hand. “Buck, may I ask you a question?” Buck looked at Hen and nodded yes. “It was Bricker and Simmons that caused the burn on your arm wasn’t it? They are the ones that are responsible for all the bruises on your body.” Buck wouldn’t look at Hen as he nodded yes. “Why didn’t you to come to us about what they were doing to you?” Buck shrugged his shoulders. “I felt like I deserved it. I hurt all of you. I knew that you were mad at me.” Hen sat there silently for a moment. “Hen, may I ask you something?” “You can ask me anything” Hen stated. “Are you only doing this, being nice to me, because you feel sorry for me, because you found me on the floor?” Buck asks making himself even smaller in the hospital bed. Buck tried to pull his hand away from Hen. She held his hand tighter. 

“Buck, I am sorry that I wasn’t better friend to you. I am sorry that I wasn’t someone that you could come to when all of this started to happen. I am sorry that I made you feel isolated and alone for even just one moment. So no Buck I am not only doing this because of what happened. I am here because it is the very least that I can do. Going forward I will be glued to your side. You will not be alone this fight at all. Whatever you want to do, I will be in your corner.” Buck started to cry again.


	8. The Team and Maddie Talk to Buck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hen tells the team what Buck did for them and the abuse that he suffered. They take turns begging him for forgiveness.

“Right now Buckaroo, we are going to focus on you. You have lost nearly 60 pounds since the lawsuit started. So, in a few minutes I am going to go to the cafeteria and get you a bunch of food and deserts and you are going to eat it all.” There was a knock at the door. Nurse Doris was entering the room along with Athena and detective Marks. “Buckaroo, this is Detective Marks. You remember him; he was the one that found your sister.” Buck nodded. “Yes, Mr. Buckley, it’s nice to see you again. I am sorry that it under these circumstances. I have gathered all the information that I need for now from the doctor and the nurse that examined you. I just wanted to ask you a few questions if that’s okay.” Buck looked around nervously but nodded his yes. Detective Marks was very thorough and asked every question imaginable. Buck told him every detail. He laid out every detail of the assaults from Bricker and Simmons. When he was done Athena was crying. Buck was exhausted after he finished telling Detective Marks everything and answering his questions. All he wanted to do was to nap but he was afraid to close his eyes. It took Hen and Athena thirty minutes of reassuring Buck that they were still going to be there after his nap Buck fell asleep.

Hen and Athena went to the waiting room where the others were waiting for any kind of news. When Hen sat down in an empty chair she sobbed. She told them everything. She told them the real reason that Buck went through with the lawsuit. She told them about the abuse. About every cut, punch, slap and kick. She told them that the reason that he didn’t say anything is because he thought that they would agree with Bricker and Simmons that he was weak and pathetic and that he deserved everything that was happening to him. He was so scared that we wouldn’t be enough, so he worked through the pain and the broken bones. Eddie cleared his throat. “a few days ago I walked into the bathroom at the same time that Buck was in there and he was struggling to wrap his hand and I told him that I would offer to help him but that I didn’t want him to use it against me in another lawsuit. He was hurting and in pain and didn’t say anything, he just sat there and took the abuse from them and the hate that I spewed out to him.” Eddie could feel the bile rising in his throat and barely made it to the bathroom before throwing up his lunch. Eddie pulled out his phone to text Carla. 

Even though Athena is mad at her husband she still tries to comfort him. “Buck tried to talk to me, I think he was going to tell me the truth about the lawsuit and I just shut him down. I told him that he wasn’t welcome at the dinner table. I told him that he couldn’t address me so informally. He walked out crying and I just let him. That's why he didn't come to me about what they were doing to him. When we found him on the floor, he just kept saying that 'he deserved it'. He deserved nothing.” Athena rubbed her husbands back. “Bobby, baby you have a lot to make up for. That boy went through it alone, truly alone. He didn't say a word to anyone just allowed the abuse to continue. He felt as though he had to because he to." Bobby hung his head and cried. 

Nurse Doris informed them that Buck was awake. Eddie was waiting for Carla to arrive with Christopher so Maddie and Chim went to spend time with Buck. They knocked on the door and waited for him to answer. “Hey Buckaroo, glad to see you awake.” Chim said. Maddie came in and walked to him and attempted to grab his good hand and Buck tensed. Chim slowly stepped in. “Buck, buddy, I am so sorry. I am sorry that you went through this alone. That I made you feel alone. That I didn’t hear you out. That I wasn't there for you. That I didn’t even you give you a chance. I hung out with Bricker and Simmons a few times. I associated with people that hurt my friend. You have every right to hate me.” Buck started to speak. Chim knew Buck. He knew that Buck would forgive him. "Buck, please. Don't let me off the hook. Don't forgive me so easily. I cant and wont speak for the others. But I know you Buck. You need to be mad at me. Please." Buck started to cry and shake his head. “I can't. You made me a sandwich and brought it to me. You were nice to me when you didn’t have to be.” Maddie wiped the tears from Buck’s eyes. “Oh my baby brother, you are the bravest person that I know. You are so strong. Why didn’t you say anything to me about what was going on? They cannot hurt you anymore. They are in jail. They will remain in jail for the rest of their lives. I will make sure of that.” Maddie tried to reassure him. They talked for a long time. Buck told them that he is scared and that he does not know if he can stay at the 118 anymore because of the looks that people will give him. Buck had fallen asleep and they made their departure. It was the first time in a really long time that he could sleep without worry.

Chim and Bobby talked briefly. Chim didn't say anything about Buck wanting to leave. Chim and Maddie went to meet Hen in the cafeteria. They knew that Buck and Bobby and Eddie needed to hash it out and they didn't want to be there for the potential fallout. 

Bobby was thankful that Buck was napping because it gave him time to prepare and to gather his thoughts. To think about what he wanted to say to Buck. To think about how he was going to apologize. He thought about going back to the station and making him something good to eat but he couldn’t step inside that house right now. The nurse woke Buck up three hours later to draw some blood for labs. 

Bobby knew that he needed to go in. He knocked and walked into the room without waiting for a response. “Hey Buckley. How are you feeling after your nap?” Buck glanced at him but quickly diverted his eyes when Bobby looked at him. Bobby could feel the tension in the room. He attempted to make small talk. “Hen and the doctor said that you need to put some weight on so while you were sleeping I made a list of the foods that you like that I make. I was thinking that maybe I could make you some of your favorites and bring them to you. I could even stock the fridge in your apartment or your sisters apartment if you stay with her.” Buck cleared his throat. “That is not necessary Captain Nash. The hospital food is just fine and Maddie knows how to cook. There are also a ton of food delivery services. There is no need to go out of your way especially for me.” Bobby tried to reassure him. “Its not a problem really. I know you like spaghetti and my meatloaf and mashed potatoes with gravy.” Bobby added those to the list. 

“Captain Nash, it is not necessary for you to go out of your way for me. I know that I not welcome at the table so there is no need to make foods that I like. You made that abundantly clear how you feel about me.” Bobby stuttered before he spoke. “Bu-Buck I- yo-, (Bobby clears his throat) Buck I am so sorry. You do not deserve what happened to you. If I had just listened you, given you the opportunity to speak to me none of this would have happened. I will do anything to make this right. To make things right between us.” Buck hands Bobby an envelope. Bobby started to tear up as he saw the words across the top of the paper. TRANSFER ORDERS in bold italics across the top.


	9. Bobby Pleads With Buck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck wants to make to things easy for everyone and transfer to another station. Bobby begs him to stay.

Buck started to speak without looking at Bobby." You said that if you were given the opportunity to transfer me out of the 118 you would. So Captain Nash now is your chance. All you have to do is sign them and I will be out of your hair for good." Buck handed Bobby a pen. "There is a post it note marking where you need to sign." Bobby sighed as Buck waved the pen at him. "Buck please. I know that I have no right to ask you to stay. But I am begging you to stay. I am begging you to allow me to have a chance to make things right with you. I cant imagine what you went through with Bricker and Simmons. I am the one that allowed all this to happen. When you came to my office that day, you were going to tell me about the lawsuit and everything that you did for us. For me." Bobby stopped speaking and Buck simply nodded his head. Bobby started to cry. "Buck I am so sorry. You did not deserve any of this. I will do everything in my power to make sure that you know you are wanted and needed and loved. We all want you here and to be with us. Once you are out of the hospital your spot on the truck is waiting for you." Buck didn't believe him. "I may not have deserved what Bricker and Simmons did to me but I can not go back to that house with them there. It is my word against theirs and my word means nothing."

"Buck there is video proof of every attack they made against you. There is the evidence that proves everything. Simmons is cooperating with the police. He has told them everything. He has told them about every hit, cut, punch. Everything. He has taken a plea deal. He will be in prison for 15 years. Bricker has not been cooperative but he will be punished for what he did. Simmons is going ton testify against Bricker. You never have to see them again." Buck started to cry. "My parents told me that I am not worth the air that I breathe. They hated me from the moment that I was born. That is why Maddie took care for as long as she did. I have worked hard for a long time not believe that my parents are right. When you said the things that you said to me in the office it made me believe that my parents were right. That I am not worth the air that I breathe." Bobby shuddered. "Buck you are everything to this team and to me. You are everything that I imagine Bobby Jr would have become if he had lived. You are my son. I failed you once but I will not fail you again. You will have all the support of the entire house." 

Bobby and Buck spend the next hour talking. They come to an agreement. Buck will return to the 118 but if he feels like he cant be there or he cant handle working with them then Bobby will sign the transfer papers and help Buck find a house that is right for him. 

When Bobby finally comes back to the waiting room he has a haphazard look on his face and his eyes are swollen. Bobby sits down next to his wife. He hands her the envelope. She opens it and sees the words across the top. "I have convinced him to stay for now. But if he feels as though he cant work with me or be in the house anymore that I will help him find a new house to go to and not block his transfer." Athena cleared her throat. "we need to convince that young man that he is family and that we want him. No matter what it takes." 

They all nod their heads in agreement.


	10. Eddie and Buck Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Buck finally talk about everything. Feelings ensue. There maybe a kiss or five.
> 
> (Work has been killer this last week, sorry I have not been able to post sooner)

When Carla arrives with Christopher, Eddie tells Christopher that Buck is hurt and will have to be in the hospital for a few days. Carla goes to visit Buck; she brings him some cookies. They talk for a while and when Carla leaves Eddie takes Christopher to go and see Buck. 

Eddie knocks on the door and reminds Christopher that Buck will look really hurt and be in some pain. Chris nods in understanding and they go into the room. “Hi Bucky!” Buck lights up when he sees Christopher and reaches out for him. Chris hesitates to go to Buck. “What’s wrong Superman?” Buck looks at him. “I-I I don’t want to hurt you Bucky. You have bruises on you.” Buck looked at him. “Hey buddy, I am hurt. That’s why I am here. But the best thing for me that will help me heal is for you to climb up here and give me a big Christopher hug. Your hugs are magical.” 

Eddie lifted Christopher into the bed and Christopher carefully snuggled next to Buck. Eddie sat down in the chair that was in the room. Buck nodded at him but didn’t really acknowledge him. He and Chris talked about everything. They talk about everything. Chris tells Buck how much he misses him. Buck kisses the curls on his forehead and thanks him for the hug. Eventually Chris falls asleep hugging Buck. Buck takes off Chris’s glasses and acknowledges Eddie for the first time. 

Buck whispers, “Eddie here are his glasses. I cant reach the table.” Eddie nods. “If he is to heavy or is hurting you in any way I can move him.” Eddie whispered. “He is not the one that has hurt me.” Buck spoke. Eddie hung his head. 

Before he could speak, Buck spoke up. “As I am sure that you are aware that for the time being, I will be staying at the 118. But don’t worry I will work it out with Captain Nash so that we are on opposite shifts that way you do not have to work with me ever again.” Eddie shook his head no. “Buck, please do not do that. I don’t want that. You and I work well together. You are my best friend. I-I need you. Please.” Buck looked at Eddie for the first time. “Aren’t you worried that I am going to use what we are saying in my next lawsuit?” Eddie just hung his head. “Buck that day. I will never forgive myself for that day. You were hurt and I just made it worse by walking past you. I should have said something then. I wanted to talk to you for a while. I just didn’t know how to approach you or what to say when I approached you.” Eddie just looked at Buck. “You could have tried something like Hi or do you need help bandaging your hand. Anything would have been better than what you did say.” 

Eddie sighed. “Look Eddie, I get that I am exhausting and that I make things all about me all the time. So for the first time in my life I am trying to be selfless here and switch to another shift so that you don’t have to deal with me.” Buck started to cry but couldn’t wipe his tears because Christopher is asleep on his good arm. Eddie got out of the chair and walked to Buck and wiped his tears with a Kleenex. Buck tried to pull away so that Eddie did not have to touch him. Eddie wrapped one hand around his neck and wiped his tears with the other hand. 

“Buck, I know what I said at the grocery store really got to you and for that I am sorry. Truly I am. You are the most important person in my life next to Christopher. You are the one that helps me with Christopher. You are the one that I call when I need help or when I have had a bad day. You are the one constant in my life. You helped pick up the pieces of me together when Shannon died.” Eddie paused for a moment. Buck is rapidly shaking his head no. He could see Buck was trying to form an objection. “Buck you are the one that keeps this house together. We have all done a terrible job at being there for you especially through all of this. You went through a lawsuit alone not because you wanted to hurt anyone but because you wanted to protect us. You are the best person that I know.”

When Buck didn’t say anything, Eddie thought that he had fallen asleep. He looks at Buck and sees him staring at him. “I wanted to tell you about the lawsuit, about everything. I really did. They asked not to say anything until after it was over. I had this whole plan. I was going to tell Bob-Captain Nash first. I tried to tell him but I don’t think that he would believed me. But then he would have emailed the Chief and would have found out that I was telling the truth.” 

“Buck be honest, if we had not found you on the floor would you have said anything to us about the abuse?”. Buck thought about it for a moment. “At first, no, I would not have said anything. I would have allowed the abuse to continue until they got tired of it or of me. I felt like I deserved it. I hurt all of you and for that I needed to be punished for that. But after talking with the doctor, I know that I don’t deserve anything that happened to me.” Eddie was sobbing. He could not believe that Buck thought he deserved this, any of this. “Buck, is it okay if I hug you?” Eddie waited until Buck gave him permission. He hugged Buck and held him tight. 

When they let go of each other, Chris was waking up from his nap. "Hey Superman. Did you have a good nap?" Chris nodded his head yawning. "Still tired I see." Chris giggled and started to move around. Buck winced in pain. Chris immediately started to tear up, "Bucky, I'm sorry. I di-didn't mean to hurt you." Chris hiccupped. Buck pulled him tighter and kissed the curls on top of his head. "Its okay buddy. I promise. You didn't mean to hurt me. See look, the pain is already gone." Buck hid his grimace as Chris settled in again. Buck ran his fingers through Chris's hair until he fell asleep again. 

The room was silent for a moment. There was a knock at the door and Buck tensed until someone from the kitchen staff came in with his dinner. Eddie thanked them and took the lid off the plate and his stomach immediately flipped. "One thing for sure, you need some of Caps food and fast. This is bound to cause you to lose more weight." He pulled out his phone and texted Bobby asking him to bring more food. Eddie looked at Buck when he heard sniffling. "Buck what's wrong?" Buck struggled to find the right words. "I don't think that I can go back to the 118. The locker ro--om, I cant pass that room everyday knowing what happened." 

Eddie hugs Buck and nuzzles his face into the crook of Buck's neck. Eddie kisses Buck's neck. Buck kisses the top of his head and breathes in his scent. Eddie pulls back and stares at Bucks face. They lean into each other and after a few attempts they finally kiss. They kiss each other like their lives depend on it. They kiss like they are the only source of oxygen and they wont survive for long. Buck pulls away because he cant breathe. After catching his breath, "I have wanted that to happen since I first saw you. You take my breath my away." Eddie laughed. "You are so corny." Eddie kissed him again but not as needy.


	11. Buck Comes Home From the Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a week Buck is released from the hospital. He goes home with his boys.

After a week in the hospital Buck is released but is encouraged to go home with someone rather than to his empty apartment. The team visited every day. Buck was slowly starting to heal. His bruises were fading, they were in the faded greenish stage. He was starting to put on weight he had gained a pound by the time he left the hospital. Hen, Chim, Maddie, Bobby and Athena visited every day. Buck laughed with everyone but Bobby. He still called him Captain Nash; Buck could not address him so informally.

When it was time for him to go home, they fought over him. It was settled that he would go home with Eddie. Hen and Karen did not have a spare room anymore now that Nia was with them. Chim and Maddie were in the process of moving into a bigger apartment now that they had a baby on the way. When Athena and Bobby offered their home, Buck quickly turned them down. Eddie was the only one with a spare room. 

Eddie and Buck were holding hands when Dr. Marcel came in. “Buck, I have your discharge papers. We just need a few signatures and then you will be on your way.” They went through the motions and signed the paperwork. Dr. Marcel gave him some references and resources to get help. “Buck, you think that you don’t need to talk to anyone, but I encourage you to do so. I kept what happened to me bottled up for so long. I did not tell anyone. I nearly lost everything.” Buck cleared his throat, “what made you tell people and talk about it?” Dr. Marcel sighed, “I didn’t tell anyone Buck. I was in my last year of medical school. I threw myself into it. I was married at the time and had a daughter that was battling cancer. I started to go to a support group after she died and then went to a therapist. My marriage fell apart for a lot of reasons. But I got the help that I needed. I accepted a lot of things about myself.” Eddie already had a lot of respect for Dr. Marcel for helping and encouraging Buck to go through with everything. 

When Buck and Eddie were finally able to leave the hospital they swung by Buck’s apartment sot that he could get some clothes. They finally make it to Eddie’s place and Buck sees that Christopher decorated his room for him. He smiled at the drawings that Chris had done of them. Eddie left to let Buck get settled. He walked to the kitchen to get dinner started. Eddies abuela and aunt had stocked his fridge full of food when they heard that Buck was hurt. They knew that there was something happening between them. 

Eddie was in the kitchen when Buck came in. “I think that we need to talk about what happened in the hospital. I kissed you because I love you and I want to be with you. So, if you only kissed me back because you felt sorry for me. I understand. We can go back to just being coworkers.” Buck rambled for a few minutes. Eddie cleared the air by walking up to Buck, gently grabbing his face and kissing him again. He kissed him like he did in the hospital. He kissed him like his life depended on it. They only stopped kissing when they heard giggling.

They heard giggling and pulled away and saw Christopher and Carla standing there just staring at them. Carla set Chris’ things down, gave Buck a big hug and then left mumbling something like it was about time. Buck sat down at the table with Chris as Eddie made him a snack. “So, Christopher, I think that we need to talk about this?” Chris took a sip of his juice. “Its okay daddy. I love Buck. I know that you love him.” Buck smiled. “I love you, too, Superman. And I want you to know that if you are uncomfortable in anyway all you have to do is say something.” 

They enjoyed a nice dinner. Buck helped Chris with his homework. Eddie followed Chris to his room to help him get his bath started. Buck cleared the table and washed the dishes. He was in the process of drying them when Eddie came back. Eddie went to grab the plate from Buck and startled him. Buck dropped the plate and it shattered. Buck’s eyes went wide. Eddie could tell that he was in his head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Buck bent down to pick up the pieces. When he got to the last piece he hesitated. He was worried that Eddie was going to step on his hand causing the glass to cut his hand. 

Eddie bent down and picked up the piece of glass. “Its okay Buck, its just a plate. I have others.” Eddie gently pulled Buck up from the floor. He hugged him tightly. He whispered to Buck until he came back. Buck finally relaxed in his arms and Eddie knew that he was back. Chris was in his pajamas on the couch waiting for Buck. The movie had barely been on for 10 minutes before Chris fell asleep.

Buck took comfort in Chris’ steady breathing. Eddie broke the silence. “Buck, when the plate broke. You had a flashback. What happened?” Buck did not speak for a few minutes. Eddie grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. “Chim had made a sandwich for me and I went to the kitchen to wrap it up. It was too much food. I could not eat more than two bites. I was turning to put the plate in the sink when B- when they came in. They knocked the plate out of my hand. I was picking up the pieces and when I got to the last piece Bricker ground my hand down on to it and it caused the cut on my hand.”

Eddie gently stroked Buck’s hand. He ran his fingertips along Buck’s palm. He kissed his hand. They talked for another hour or so until Buck was yawning. Eddie chuckled. “Let’s get to bed. We have a long day tomorrow.” Eddie picked up Chris and carried him to his room. He tucked him in and gave him his stuffed dinosaur. Buck was standing in the doorway. 

“Good night, Buck.” Eddie said as he kissed his cheek. “Eddie, um” Buck was looking at his feet and when he saw Eddie staring at him he was scared. Eddie waited patiently for Buck to continue. “Um, never mind. I’m sorry I bothered you.” Buck started to walk off and Eddie grabbed his arm gently applying pressure. “Buck there is nothing that you can say that will be wrong. Please tell me.” Buck looked up at him. “I’m scared. Is it okay if I sleep with you? I mean just sleep. I think that I will be able to sleep better if I can hear someone breathing.” 

“Buck, baby, look at me. That is more than okay. I think that I know something that will help. I’ll meet you in there in five minutes.” Buck went and got settled in the bed under the covers. He was sleeping closest to the wall. Eddie came in carrying Christopher and smiled. Eddie put Chris in the bed and went to change and then climbed under the covers. After a few minutes, they were all sleeping soundly.


	12. Buck Returns to Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck had been to cleared to return to work, but he still wont address Bobby so informally.

After a week in the hospital Buck is released but is encouraged to go home with someone rather than to his empty apartment. The team visited every day. Buck was slowly starting to heal. His bruises were fading, they were in the faded greenish stage. He was starting to put on weight he had gained a pound by the time he left the hospital. Hen, Chim, Maddie, Bobby and Athena visited every day. Buck laughed with everyone but Bobby. He still called him Captain Nash; Buck could not address him so informally. When it was time for him to go home, they fought over him. It was settled that he would go home with Eddie. Hen and Karen did not have a spare room anymore now that Nia was with them. Chim and Maddie were in the process of moving into a bigger apartment now that they had a baby on the way. When Athena and Bobby offered their home, Buck quickly turned them down. Eddie was the only one with a spare room. 

Eddie and Buck were holding hands when Dr. Marcel came in. “Buck, I have your discharge papers. We just need a few signatures and then you will be on your way.” They went through the motions and signed the paperwork. Dr. Marcel gave him some references and resources to get help. “Buck, you think that you don’t need to talk to anyone, but I encourage you to do so. I kept what happened to me bottled up for so long. I did not tell anyone. I nearly lost everything.” Buck cleared his throat, “what made you tell people and talk about it?” Dr. Marcel sighed, “I didn’t tell anyone Buck. I was in my last year of medical school. I threw myself into it. I was married at the time and had a daughter that was battling cancer. I started to go to a support group after she died and then went to a therapist. My marriage fell apart for a lot of reasons. But I got the help that I needed. I accepted a lot of things about myself.” Eddie already had a lot of respect for Dr. Marcel for helping and encouraging Buck to go through with everything. 

When Buck and Eddie were finally able to leave the hospital they swung by Buck’s apartment sot that he could get some clothes. They finally make it to Eddie’s place and Buck sees that Christopher decorated his room for him. He smiled at the drawings that Chris had done of them. Eddie left to let Buck get settled. He walked to the kitchen to get dinner started. Eddies Abuela and aunt had stocked his fridge full of food when they heard that Buck was hurt. They knew that there was something happening between them. Eddie was in the kitchen when Buck came in. “I think that we need to talk about what happened in the hospital. I kissed you because I love you and I want to be with you. So, if you only kissed me back because you felt sorry for me. I understand. We can go back to just being coworkers.” Buck rambled for a few minutes. Eddie cleared the air by walking up to Buck, gently grabbing his face and kissing him again. He kissed him like he did in the hospital. He kissed him like his life depended on it. They only stopped kissing when they heard giggling.

They heard giggling and pulled away and saw Christopher and Carla standing there just staring at them. Carla set Chris’ things down, gave Buck a big hug and then left mumbling something like it was about time. Buck sat down at the table with Chris as Eddie made him a snack. “So, Christopher, I think that we need to talk about this?” Chris took a sip of his juice. “Its okay daddy. I love Buck. I know that you love him.” Buck smiled. “I love you, too, Superman. And I want you to know that if you are uncomfortable in anyway all you have to do is say something.” They enjoyed a nice dinner. Buck helped Chris with his homework. Eddie followed Chris to his room to help him get his bath started. Buck cleared the table and washed the dishes. He was in the process of drying them when Eddie came back. Eddie went to grab the plate from Buck and startled him. Buck dropped the plate and it shattered. Buck’s eyes went wide. Eddie could tell that he was in his head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Buck bent down to pick up the pieces. When he got to the last piece he hesitated. He was worried that Eddie was going to step on his hand causing the glass to cut his hand. 

Eddie bent down and picked up the piece of glass. “Its okay Buck, its just a plate. I have others.” Eddie gently pulled Buck up from the floor. He hugged him tightly. He whispered to Buck until he came back. Buck finally relaxed in his arms and Eddie knew that he was back. Chris was in his pajamas on the couch waiting for Buck. The movie had barely been on for 10 minutes before Chris fell asleep. Buck took comfort in Chris’ steady breathing. Eddie broke the silence. “Buck, when the plate broke. You had a flashback. What happened?” Buck did not speak for a few minutes. Eddie grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. “Chim had made a sandwich for me and I went to the kitchen to wrap it up. It was too much food. I could not eat more than two bites. I was turning to put the plate in the sink when B- when they came in. They knocked the plate out of my hand. I was picking up the pieces and when I got to the last piece Bricker ground my hand down on to it and it caused the cut on my hand.”

Eddie gently stroked Buck’s hand. He ran his fingertips along Buck’s palm. He kissed his hand. They talked for another hour or so until Buck was yawning. Eddie chuckled. “Let’s get to bed. We have a long day tomorrow.” Eddie picked up Chris and carried him to his room. He tucked him in and gave him his stuffed dinosaur. Buck was standing in the doorway.   
“Good night, Buck.” Eddie said as he kissed his cheek. “Eddie, um” Buck was looking at his feet and when he saw Eddie staring at him he was scared. Eddie waited patiently for Buck to continue. “Um, never mind. I’m sorry I bothered you.” Buck started to walk off and Eddie grabbed his arm gently applying pressure. “Buck there is nothing that you can say that will be wrong. Please tell me.” Buck looked up at him. “I’m scared. Is it okay if I sleep with you? I mean just sleep. I think that I will be able to sleep better if I can hear someone breathing.”   
“Buck, baby, look at me. That is more than okay. I think that I know something that will help. I’ll meet you in there in five minutes.” Buck went and got settled in the bed under the covers. He was sleeping closest to the wall. Eddie came in carrying Christopher and smiled. Eddie put Chris in the bed and went to change and then climbed under the covers. After a few minutes, they were all sleeping soundly. 

THE NEXT MORNING

Eddie woke up to giggling in the kitchen. He smiled at the sound and got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. Buck and Christopher were in the kitchen making blueberry pancakes. Chris was getting out the silverware when Eddie walked into the kitchen and grabbed the plates. Soon the pancakes were done and they were dressed for the day. Buck was already wearing his work uniform. Eddie, Buck, and Chris climbed into the truck, Eddie and Buck are holding hands. After they drop Chris off at school they head to the 118. 

When Eddie pulls up to the firehouse he noticed the look of fear of Buck's face. Eddie squeezes Buck's hand. "Carino, are you okay?" Buck shook his head no. "Everyone is going to stare at me and blame me for two firefighters losing their jobs. This is all my fault." Eddie slowly reached across the center console and hugged Buck. "I know that you wont believe me. But you need to hear this. Bricker and Simmons abused you. They hurt you. You did nothing wrong." He turned Buck's hand over and kissed the scar on his palm. "We are all here for you. I know that we have a lot of things to make up for and we are so thankful that you are giving us this chance." Buck stroked Eddie's cheek and briefly kissed him. It was a kiss no real heat or passion because they were at work. "We need to get in there. I cant be late my first day back. Captain Nash wont be happy if I am late." Eddie shook his head as they walked in. 

Chim and Hen were waiting for Buck to get in. When they saw him they smiled and waved at him. They were thrilled when he smiled and waved back. He hesitated at the locker room. Chim approached him and they entered together. Buck got scared and almost ran out. Chim helped him catch his breath and Buck was able to put his things away quickly ran out of the room. Hen was waiting for him and gave him a hug. They make there way to the loft.

Bobby walked into the loft to make a few announcements. He greeted everyone. The group responded with various greetings. "Good morning, Captain Nash." Bobby's face fell.


	13. Buck and the Worst Day of his Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day starts off shakily and only goes downhill from there.

After the announcements Bibby moved to the kitchen to start on breakfast. Eddie and Buck were sitting next to each other on the couch their shoulders and hips touching. Hen and Chim were sitting in the chairs surrounding the couch. Other firefighters were milling about but mostly keeping their distance. As much as they tried to contain what happened, the others knew. Most of them were staring at Buck from a distance. No one approached him. Feeling the eyes on him, Buck pressed in closer to Eddie just as Bobby called for breakfast. Everyone but Buck got up.

Hen, Chim and Eddie all noticed that Buck did not follow. "Buck, Bobby called for breakfast." Buck nodded. "He called y'all for breakfast. I am not welcome at the table." Eddie motioned for Hen and Chim to grab them some chairs. Eddie sat back down on the couch. "Eddie, you need to go get breakfast before there is none left. You need to keep your strength up." Eddie looked at him, "you know that he means you as well." Buck shook his head. "He hasn't meant me in a long time. Until Captain Nash tells me that he wants me at the table I wont sit at the table." 

Eddie went to Bobby and told him what Buck said. Bobby nodded. "Buck, I called for breakfast. That means you as well." Buck nodded. "Yes sir, Captain Nash." Buck got off the couch and sat next to Eddie. They started to pass the breakfast fixings around. Buck took small portions, he was slowly getting the weight back on. Buck ate slowly, he was watching everyone. Eddie saw him searching and put his hand on his thigh. He smiled at Eddie. Buck was finished and surprisingly still hungry. He had forgotten how good Bobby's food was. He was looking for more. "Buck, is something wrong?" Bobby looked at him. "Is it okay if I have some more?" 

Everything happened at once. Bobby and some of the other firefighters all moved at once trying offer him more food. Buck was cowering in the corner rocking back and forth, eyes wide with fear. "Im sorry. I wont ask again." Richardson, Flannery, and Powell were laughing and whispering at him. Powell was pointing. Chim and Hen were blocking everybody. Eddie was helping Buck calm down. Bobby came in and apologized for scaring him. Buck tried to apologize to Bobby. "Capt- captain Nash, Im sorry that I reacted like this. Please don't keep me from going on calls. I promise I will be fine." Bobby just looked at him. "I made you a promise. I wont hold you back. Ever again." They shook hands as the alarm rang. 

They all ran to the trucks and started to put on their turnout gear. Buck's gear didn't quite fit. They hopped into the truck and went to the fire. It was a doozie. A drunk ran a red light going 70 miles an hour and plowed into a school bus containing first graders. Denny's first grade class. Hen called Karen to come down. Buck not having all of his weight back on was able to slip into the hole that was made after the car was pulled away. The first thing that he saw was the teacher she died protecting two students both of whom are critically injured. Eddie made his way in and he worked quietly with Buck to free the children and passed them to the firefighters waiting below. Buck stepped slowly as to not step on any little children.  
The children were screaming and crying. They slowly work their way through the clutter of broken seats and backpacks. After rescuing a little girl with an obvious broken arm and leg, they find him. Denny.

Denny is in the corner pulling items away from his friends trying to free them. Buck and Eddie can tell that he is hurt. His arm is hanging at an awkward angle and his pant leg is covered in blood. Buck kneels next to him, "Denny. Hey buddy." Denny looked up at Buck and Eddie. "Buck, this Billy, he is stuck. He's my friend and he's autistic." Buck looked at him. "Denny, you are hurt, please go with Eddie." Denny starts to protest. "Denny, look at me, I promise that I will get him out. Please go." Denny looked at Billy. "Billy, this is my friend Buck. He is a good person and he is going to help you." Billy nodded at Denny and Eddie carried Denny out of the bus. Hen ran over to them. "Mommy." Denny started crying and crashing. Chim jumped into the ambulance and along with Eddie started to triage him. "Hen, you are the mom now. Not the EMT." Hen nodded. They cut open his pant leg and saw that his femur was broken and protruding hitting his artery. They clamped it and splinted his leg. Denny came too. "Mommy, I'm cold." Athena and Karen came up at that moment. Hen was taking off her turn out coat and putting it over him. Karen climbs in the back with Hen and Chim drives them to the hospital with a police escort. Eddie returns to Buck. He has freed Billy and is carrying him to an ambulance. 

A FEW HOURS LATER

They make their way to the hospital. Hen and Karen are in the room with Denny. The waiting room was full of parents waiting for news of their children. Hen and Karen came from the room. They were smiling. Karen hugged Buck hard. "Denny had a deformed fracture of the all the bones in his left arm. He right wrist is fractured. He has plates and screws in his femur and his ankle. He will be in the hospital for a few days and then home. He will need to physical therapy." Buck was grateful that they got to him in time. He was thankful that no children were dead. "Hen we are going to head back to the station, but if you or Karen need anything you call us okay."

They made their way back to the station. Eddie and Buck were sitting together silently holding hands. They quietly made their way into the station. They both needed a shower and to decompress. When they opened their lockers a folded piece of paper fell out of Buck's. He bent down to pick it up. Buck tensed, crumpled up the note, and slammed his locker shut. Eddie picked up the note and turned it over. Written in a messy scrawl, YOU ARE A WEAK LITTLE BASTARD. YOU DESERVED EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU."


End file.
